This might help explain why so many unusual things
happen inside Blaine Parker's head.
(Everything here is true and really did happen. Mainly.)
Writer and VO artist Blaine Parker is officially the Minister of Covert Ops for Slow Burn Marketing LLC. His wife, The Fabulous Honey Parker, is Slow Burn's official President For Life. Together, they work with small business owners around the globe. Specifically, they provide brand-based marketing and advertising with the express goal of generating ROI by being relevant and evocative.
Along with Honey, Blaine speaks to audiences of small business owners about the power of branding a small business. Together, they've presented to audiences as small as 50 and as great as 5,000, in locations as disparate as Boise and Singapore.
A national-award winning Creative Director and Copywriter whose career focus has been small business marketing, Blaine has helped build ROI for hundreds of local businesses across the country. In the process, he's twice been honored with the Oscars of radio advertising, as well as dozens of other awards.
However, no award beats the thrill of seeing an advertiser double their call volume overnight, or generate as much as a 2,000% return on his advertising dollar.
Blaine has been Vice President of Marketing for The World's Greatest Ice Cream Company (dba The Frieze, Miami Beach), he served as a marketing communications manager under electronics genius Ze'ev Drori at Clifford Electronics, and spent more than a decade as a Creative Director at the flagship radio station group of Salem Communications in Los Angeles.
Blaine also possesses the voice of a much taller man. He can be heard pitching many of those small businesses (as well as national advertisers) on broadcast stations from coast to coast.
A member of SAG-AFTRA, Blaine has appeared in national campaigns for brands like Bud Light, State Farm, GoToMeeting, Little Caesar's, Sizzler and Cheez-Its. Previously a longtime regular voiceover performer for NBC TV, he's been heard on NBC owned & operated stations nationwide, and has most recently been the national voice of Papa John's Pizza in the UK.
Being adept as a purveyor of acerbic and piercing copy has served many of Blaine's clients well. Additionally, he has developed a special skill at what he calls Reality Marketing Media. Getting business owners to open up in candid conversations before the microphone, then sifting through hours of recorded material, he creates pithy, potent messages in the advertiser's own words. He also does the same with his clients' customers. The results are genuine, authentic and resonant. And profitable for the advertiser.
Blaine has written or co-written more than a dozen screenplays, several of which have been sucked into that Hollywood no-man's-land known as Development Hell. His best work was co-written with Honey, sometimes in association with Oscar-winner Pamela Wallace (Witness). He also has as an uncredited role as a punch-up writer for Ms. Wallace's time-tested Christmas TV movie, Borrowed Hearts, which pops up every holiday season starring Roma Downey and Hector Elizondo.
Blaine's other previous lives include stand-up comic, film production footsoldier and professional yacht bum. (While working in the latter capacity, he once encountered a famous international pop star jumping up & down naked on his living room sofa.) A graduate of Boston University, Blaine is also an amateur pizziaolo as well as brewmaster for the Short & Busty Brewing label.
Blaine was raised by wolves in Greenwich, Connecticut.
Along with Honey, Blaine speaks to audiences of small business owners about the power of branding a small business. Together, they've presented to audiences as small as 50 and as great as 5,000, in locations as disparate as Boise and Singapore.
A national-award winning Creative Director and Copywriter whose career focus has been small business marketing, Blaine has helped build ROI for hundreds of local businesses across the country. In the process, he's twice been honored with the Oscars of radio advertising, as well as dozens of other awards.
However, no award beats the thrill of seeing an advertiser double their call volume overnight, or generate as much as a 2,000% return on his advertising dollar.
Blaine has been Vice President of Marketing for The World's Greatest Ice Cream Company (dba The Frieze, Miami Beach), he served as a marketing communications manager under electronics genius Ze'ev Drori at Clifford Electronics, and spent more than a decade as a Creative Director at the flagship radio station group of Salem Communications in Los Angeles.
Blaine also possesses the voice of a much taller man. He can be heard pitching many of those small businesses (as well as national advertisers) on broadcast stations from coast to coast.
A member of SAG-AFTRA, Blaine has appeared in national campaigns for brands like Bud Light, State Farm, GoToMeeting, Little Caesar's, Sizzler and Cheez-Its. Previously a longtime regular voiceover performer for NBC TV, he's been heard on NBC owned & operated stations nationwide, and has most recently been the national voice of Papa John's Pizza in the UK.
Being adept as a purveyor of acerbic and piercing copy has served many of Blaine's clients well. Additionally, he has developed a special skill at what he calls Reality Marketing Media. Getting business owners to open up in candid conversations before the microphone, then sifting through hours of recorded material, he creates pithy, potent messages in the advertiser's own words. He also does the same with his clients' customers. The results are genuine, authentic and resonant. And profitable for the advertiser.
Blaine has written or co-written more than a dozen screenplays, several of which have been sucked into that Hollywood no-man's-land known as Development Hell. His best work was co-written with Honey, sometimes in association with Oscar-winner Pamela Wallace (Witness). He also has as an uncredited role as a punch-up writer for Ms. Wallace's time-tested Christmas TV movie, Borrowed Hearts, which pops up every holiday season starring Roma Downey and Hector Elizondo.
Blaine's other previous lives include stand-up comic, film production footsoldier and professional yacht bum. (While working in the latter capacity, he once encountered a famous international pop star jumping up & down naked on his living room sofa.) A graduate of Boston University, Blaine is also an amateur pizziaolo as well as brewmaster for the Short & Busty Brewing label.
Blaine was raised by wolves in Greenwich, Connecticut.